There's a blessing buried in the broken pieces... I called a friend today to say a usual "good morning" and to see how her day was going. Her voice sounded a little weary, so I asked why the tired voice? She responded with "just the usual." I knew from lots of listening that she was facing more emotional battles with an adult child who is plagued by severe anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. Needless to say, the recommended check lists have all been met for interventions... Christian counseling, medications, therapy, residential care. But still no stable results.
My emotions wanted to cry, but I could feel her numbness. So, I listened in silence. We both sat on the phone waiting in silence. I was praying for the right thing to say. The only thing that sprang up was an old hymn my mom used to sing, "Count your many blessings, name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord has done." In essence, change your focus when the thing staring at you won't change. Then we reminded each other of the power of praise and God's ability to fight our battles.
We had a few more silent pauses, with me just listening. I wanted to fix the problem so badly and make it all right but realized nothing I was saying seemed to cut through the numbness. Perhaps, it was at this stage the apostle Paul wrote "We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body."
2 Cor. 4:8-12
What are you carrying around today that needs to die through the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may be revealed? I've had plans and dreams that I spent years and years cultivating, but one day they ended at a dead-end street. For years I knew that my dreams were over. But one day, inside of a prison visitation yard, an inmate asked me, "What are your dreams?" I blankly said I have no dreams. What's the point? This inmate, who happened to be one of my sons, kept smiling and prodding. Finally, I said flippantly, "Oh, to have a horse." We talked about it for months afterwards, but I scoffed at his ridiculous dreaming. Well, guess where I am years later? Working with horses! I don't own any, but I volunteer with a wonderful equine therapy group.
My kudos for you today is to let go of that dream and ask God for new ones. He is the Creator of the Universe, and he has a plan so much better than we could imagine. His plans are tailor made for each one of us. As we seek the face of Christ and embrace his death, we can find true life revealed. I pray you can trust the unknown to the One who knows the future. Let the Creator catch your tears in your hankie or feel your numbness as you wait in silence. He has a plan. Count your blessings daily, keep waving your hankie and be thankful for the ride!
Don't run from suffering. Embrace it... Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way... to finding your true self. Matthew 16:25-26 Message Version
Wow. How blessed I was reading about what you wrote. Thank you so much for sharing so much wisdom.